Surviving Retrograde Season: A Witch's Guide

Hello, my magical mavens! It’s that time again—planets are playing cosmic hopscotch, and we're stuck in the middle of the chaos. As of August 11th, Mercury, Saturn, Neptune, Pluto, and Chiron are all in retrograde. But what does "retrograde" actually mean? In astrology, a planet is said to be in retrograde when it appears to be moving backward in its orbit from our perspective here on Earth. This seemingly backward motion tends to throw off the energies associated with that planet, leading to the delightful (read: chaotic) experiences we know and love. But don't fret, because I've got your witchy backs with some magical and positively charged advice to navigate this celestial circus.

Mercury in Retrograde: The Classic Culprit

Mercury retrograde is like that annoying ex who keeps showing up at your favorite spots, just when you’re feeling your best. Expect communication mishaps, travel disruptions, and tech failures. But guess what? We’re witches, not muggles. Here’s how to handle it:

1. Sage Your Space: Clear out that stagnant energy with my Get the Smudge Out Smokeless Sage Potion. Perfect for those moments when your laptop crashes mid-Zoom call.
2. Laugh It Off: When your GPS sends you to a cornfield instead of your bestie’s new pad, remember to laugh. It’s Mercury’s way of reminding you not to take life too seriously.
3. Backup Everything: Documents, selfies, that hilarious meme collection—back it up, darling. When Mercury messes with your data, you’ll be prepared.

Venus in Retrograde: Love and Beauty Backwards

When Venus goes retro, relationships and self-image get weird. It’s like a cosmic reminder that love isn’t always a fairytale.

1. Self-Love Rituals: Use my Vibe Check Empath Recharge Mist to boost your spirits. Light a candle, draw a bath, and remind yourself that you’re fabulous, no matter what Venus says.
2. Reevaluate Relationships: If your partner starts acting like they’ve been body-snatched, it might be time for a heart-to-heart. Or, if necessary, a breakup spell—just kidding (mostly).
3. Avoid Drastic Beauty Changes: Now is not the time to try that unicorn hair dye. Stick to minor tweaks and save the bold moves for post-retrograde.

Mars in Retrograde: Warrior on Vacation

Mars retrograde is all about low energy and frustration. It’s like trying to sprint through quicksand.

1. Channel Your Inner Zen: My Shaman Ancient Wisdom Mist will help you stay grounded. Practice deep breathing and meditation to keep your cool.
2. Slow Down: Don’t force things. If a project isn’t coming together, take a step back. The universe is telling you to chill.
3. Work Out Wisely: Avoid starting intense new workouts. Stick to gentle yoga or walks. Think slow and steady wins the race.

Jupiter and Saturn in Retrograde: The Cosmic Coaches

When these giants go retro, it’s about reevaluation and growth. Imagine they’re your strict yet loving cosmic coaches.

1. Reflect and Review: Use this time to get into nature and look back on your goals and plans. What’s working? What needs tweaking? My SimplyWander Insect Repellent can keep distractions (and bugs) away while you ponder.
2. Embrace the Lessons: Saturn’s tough love can be harsh, but it’s meant to make you stronger. Trust that the universe is molding you into a better version of yourself.
3. Manifest with Intention: Join me for one of my full moon meditation experiences to harness this introspective energy. Together, we’ll release what no longer serves us and plant seeds for future growth.

Neptune and Uranus in Retrograde: Dreamy Disruption

These retrogrades bring confusion and unexpected change. It’s like the cosmos is playing a game of “Guess What’s Next?”

1. Stay Grounded: My Hocus Focus Spritz and Essential Oils Blends  —is perfect for keeping your mind clear and focused amidst the fog.
2. Expect the Unexpected: Roll with the punches. If plans go awry, see it as an opportunity for adventure.
3. Trust Your Intuition: Neptune enhances your psychic abilities. Meditate, journal, and listen to your inner voice. It knows the way.

Pluto in Retrograde: Deep Transformation

Pluto retrograde is like a cosmic excavation. It digs up all the stuff we've buried deep within.

1. Embrace Shadow Work: Use this time to confront your fears and hidden aspects of yourself. My Lucid Dreams supernatural Sprits and Essential Oils blend can help you navigate these murky waters, it's not only for sleep and dream retention, it's also a great way to help your mind relax and meditate.
2. Release and Renew: Let go of what no longer serves you. Think of Pluto retrograde as a cosmic detox. Get rid of old grudges, outdated beliefs, and anything that's holding you back.
3. Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to lean on your witchy community. We're all in this transformative journey together. Share your experiences and support one another in growth.

Chiron in Retrograde: The Wounded Healer

Chiron retrograde invites us to look at our wounds and how we can heal them.

1. Self-Care is Essential: Prioritize your well-being. My Stepping Into My Fucking Power | Spell Spray can support your healing rituals. Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a dear friend.
2. Heal Old Wounds: Reflect on past hurts and work on healing them. Journaling and meditation can be powerful tools during this time. Acknowledge your pain and allow yourself to process and release it.
3. Be Kind to Yourself: Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. Be patient and gentle with yourself. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem.

Remember, my witchy friends, retrogrades aren’t here to ruin our lives—they’re cosmic invitations to slow down, reflect, and realign. Embrace the chaos with a snarky smile and a positive mindset. And always, always, keep your broomsticks at the ready.

Stay magical,
Kitsie Duncan

P.S. Don’t forget to check out ApothecaryGoods.com for all your retrograde survival needs. Where wellness and luxury collide!